Tuesday, December 18, 2012

i've seen the tunnel, but never the light


Blank Page

fragment from one "suicide note":

may 1, 2012
entitled title waves, the rich are washed in glacier water
and sparkle like fitzgerald heroines
the middle rich are nothing more than credit fiends and ponzi jenga bricks
the poor are the great sociological study, according to press and higher education
their hardship leaves pain in the sidewalks and we all need podiatrists
just walking around and living in the musk of fears that almost never come true

Sun Rainbow

interpreting Fellini's La Dolce Vita:

april 2, 2011
About a writer who we never see write. A series of nights that are not slept through.  A series of sunrises.  The seer-alcoholic at the party is Gertrude Stein.  Age humiliates you. All is fleeting fleetly.  There's this redundant humiliation of limits.  Confessions fall on deaf ears. Love is important, but impotent all the same. One might squander a life in pursuit of it, while it knows no design beyond perpetual desertion.  The barbaric protection of an organized society (or maternal societal relationship) will drive you mad, castrate you and sterilize you creatively -- Marcello's image is a worm (soft dick).  The humiliation of having had expectations.  Lawrence Russell said, "each side of the abyss has separate but inevitable routes to loneliness, despair and death": he named these sides "religious arrogance," and "secular despair."  I defined them as 'calculated order' and 'nihilistic chaos,' although in reflection I cannot see a difference between the respective descriptors.

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